blogging with maier can now be found at www.markmaier.net

The Commute

So the new commute to the city has provided its share of "blogworthy" items lately.

Smells

• The train station I go to is right next to a Pepperidge Farm plant. On my walk to the station in the morning, I usually smell bread baking.
• When I get off the train in the city, I usually smell raw sewage on my walk down Canal.

Sounds

• I was on the train yesterday and there was a couple on the train. I couldn't tell if they were brother and sister, or office spouces, or what. I was delighted when the guy began randomly quoting song lyrics:

  "Give me a ticket for an aeroplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train."

• He began to sing (seriously...in a packed Metra car) "Amazing", and then proceeded to explain to his sister/office wife about the, ahem, double entendre that is the title of Aerosmith's greatest hits album, "Big Ones".
• After his painful American-Idol-job on "Amazing", he moved on to singing Enrique Iglesias. I think he was trying "Hero", but he substituted the word "Angel" for hero.

By the way, I think I can "Name that Segway" in 3 steps:

• "Aeroplane" from the Joe Cocker lyric -> Aerosmith -> Aerosmith sang "Angel" -> Messed up Enrique lyrics.

Sights

• Yesterday, I saw a woman who was seriously wearing Acid-Washed Jeans to work.
• I noticed a few weeks ago that I would see a guy walking down Wacker wearing fantastic colored suits. A good mental image would be Batman's "Joker" as played by Jack Nicholson. The suits are purple, lavender, or rust with massive orange plaid. They are all three-piece, and the jacket always has tails. I decided that I needed to put my camera phone to work, so I've been trying to get a picture of the guy, who I have dubbed "Willy Wonka". Below is my first successful attempt at capturing the spectacle that is my walk to the train after work:

This, by far, is one of the tame suits. Hopefully, there are more to come.

Installation

I was wondering, what are the procedures for Pope Installation? It seems like such an interesting term to describe the inauguration of the Pope, it makes me think there have to be some very technical steps involved. Perhaps...

We already know that the Pope initially gets renamed with a new version number before installation.
Does the church need to be "shutdown" before the new Pope can be installed?
Do you need to change the Pope's chauffeurs? You know, switch out the drivers?
What do you do with all of the previous Pope's papers? Are they archived?
Is the procedure so specialized that only certain Cardinals are qualified to perform it?



Other News

This may have made its way through the grapevine, but in case my two readers haven't heard, Maggie is pregnant. With twins. We're really, very, truly excited. Further details by request.

Ouch...two months between posts. I guess you could say that I've been going through a "blogger's block". For a few reasons:
-- Preoccupation - My attention has been elsewhere, like on the Illini's great college basketball season
-- Self-imposed blog rules - I was reading Wired a few months ago, and there was a new term they were defining: Narcissipost - a blog entry that is only of interest to its writer. I began to think that my blog was filled with about 95% Narcissiposts.
-- Being nice - I could go on and on about somebody at work and their desperate attempts to get attention. But I'm trying to be nice.
-- Metra has been dull - My train-mates are all pretty tame. There is the pregnant woman who carries 'What to expect when you're expecting' like a badge of honor. But that's easily explained in one sentence.

Searching for blog-worthy items begins in earnest today.

Garlic: A Love / Hate Relationship

Garlic is great when you're cooking with it. Its fun to smash it and get it out of its paper shell, its fun to roast it and make the house smell savory, and it tastes good.

Garlic is quite awful the day after you cook with it. It upsets your stomach, does not go well with toothpaste (this happened to me this morning...ukk.) and the house still smells like it did the night before. Or is that me?

Super Bowl

Good game this year. I was surprised to see T.O. get as many yards as he did. But on to the important stuff...my favorite commercials.

This year, I'd have to say that halftime-show sponsor Ameriquest had some good ones. I particularly liked the one where the guy is cooking dinner only to look as if he's just killed the cat.

Puppy Bowl

Did anyone else flip stations before/during/after the game and see the Puppy Bowl? If you missed it, check out the preview, multiply by 5 hours, and you've got the experience.

Later.

I got a new shoe on Wednesday. A boot, really.

I've been trying to decide on a good story for how I sprained my ankle. One idea I had was "I saw someone getting mugged, went to help, and I just didn't land my roundhouse kick correctly." Can I blame Chuck Norris for making it look easy?

Anything is better than "I jumped over a puddle and there was ice on the other side".

So now I get to limp around like the Cyberdyne Systems Series 800 Model 101 at the end of The Terminator. Except without the relentless need to complete my mission to exterminate Sarah Connor.

And with the boot on my right foot, are my left shoes going to be more worn than my right shoes?

Its hard to blog when you're nervous.

Over the last 3 months, I was in an interview process for a new job, and it was pretty stressful. Every time I would think about blogging, I would think about being nervous about the possibility of getting a new job. So the blog never happened. Sorry.

Things have changed. I got the new job and I'm not nervous anymore. The new job is in the city, and I've been taking Metra to work. This is good news for blog fans because the more I see large groups of people who are groggy before their morning coffee, the more I'll likely blog. Of course, longtime fans of the show know that this is probably an empty promise.

I have seen and thought a few things over the last few weeks, though.

1. Our climate is seriously messed up. A foot of snow, followed a few days later by a 65 degree day which melts the snow, followed by another foot of snow a week later. I better get Skilling on the phone.

2. I saw a woman in a full fur coat, walking down the concrete median of Upper Wacker Drive on a slushy Chicago morning. Not terribly remarkable, but fairly stupid.

3. On the train the other day, a girl tried to pull a scam on the Metra conductor. She got on at a stop that has fare level "E", but the train stops at 4 more stops with fare level "D". The difference in fare is less than a dollar. The conductor caught her trying to use a "D" ticket, and charged her a dollar extra, which is standard policy. The girl got testy, which Metra conductors do not like. The Amtrak police met the girl at the station. So learn a lesson, folks. Don't mess with Metra conductors...they're a feisty bunch. And they ride the train all day, so they're not in the mood for your crap.

Re-reading my post...I think I've found another reason I have not blogged in some time. Not enough funny.